A childless womb

Maybe, because of my collaboration and befriending with many mummy bloggers, through my social media work with Orchard Toys, I have come to meditate more on my childless state.

Maybe reading your blogs, looking at your photos and tweeting with you about your children, the days out with your children, their childhood illnesses and the loss of your children,  has made me think that there’s something missing in my life, not having a child of my own. Not, that is, to continue my ‘line’, I don’t give a toss about that, but a living being that would need me, that I could teach, and from whom I could learn. A child that would give meaning to my life.

I was never one of those women who felt the need to procreate. To be honest, the thought of swelling up like a  whale, was never appealing. The thought of the actual birth really didn’t do anything for me either.

I had friends, when I was in my 20s, who decided to go through the experience of carrying a child and childbirth, because God had given them the body to do it. They wanted to experience being pregnant, and they wanted to have a baby. The man was just the means to the end.

I always thought that to love somebody and to have their child was the ultimate experience, but somehow I was never in the right place at the right time.

Many articles have been written about the menopause. All the different ways it affects the female body, but I have never, ever seen any articles about how it can affect you mentally. That is if you are childless. Knowing that the your body clock is ticking, that the ‘change of life’ is imminent and that you are childless.

I had always thought, at the back of my mind, that I would have children. We all think that don’t we?  Coming to terms with the onset of the menopause and the realisation of  “Well, that’s it, no babies for me” is quite something to come to terms with. Why don’t journalists write articles about it? Why isn’t counselling available?

Still, I have got past that all now and am looking towards another milestone in my life, retirement. How will I cope after having been brought up with a strong work ethic? Suddenly to find that I am not ‘earning my living’ any longer? To not have to get up in the morning to go to work? How will I cope, with the sudden change in my regime?

About this I have no fears. I have many projects, as you will see if you follow my blog. It will be a new world of learning about life, and myself, and I welcome it with open arms.

The Photo Gallery: Week 131

This week’s theme is ‘girls’. Well, my girls, with whom you might already be familiar, if you are following me on this journey, are my lovely two kitten-cats. Well, they’re not kitten-cats any longer as they are 19 months old, can’t believe that time flies so fast these days.

Maisie and Minnie

Maisie and Minnie

Minnie and Maisie are very different. Minnie is much bigger than Minnie and is predominately ginger and white with tabby tinges. She eats a lot, loves to be outside, has quite slow reactions (though she is a good hunter), loves lolling about on the back of the settee or my lap. She loves affection, but hates to be picked up. She is a big softee and will never scratch you. She takes no notice if you tell her off,  she’s thick-skinned and does exactly as she pleases.

Minnie, on the other hand, is small and lithe and quick as a flash. Very intelligent and nervous. She just loves to be with me. Even if it’s chucking it down with rain, she’ll trot out to the stable behind me, waiting till all is done and then scampers back to the house in ahead of me. She loves to sit on my lap when I’m cleaning my teeth and will come up to bed with me.

Sadly, there is an undercurrant of sibling rivalry and I can see them both, whether at the end of the bed, or near me in the sitting room glaring at each other. If they could talk they’d be saying, “Don’t you dare sit on her lap, that’s my place!” Sometimes Maisie will go for poor little Minnie and I am sure it is just that she’s jealous. They are ‘my girlies’ and I love them dearly!

The Liebster Award

Thanks very much to Nic over at The Daphne Tree who has kindly nominated me, as one of her 11 bloggers, for the Liebster Award.

Liebster Award

This Award is for bloggers with fewer than 300 followers (and I don’t think I have any yet, my blog is so new!). A blogger nominates 11 fellow bloggers and asks them a set of 11 questions. The rules state that a nominee must link back to the blogger from whom they received a nomination. The nominee will write 11 random facts about themselves and then answer the 11 questions which have been set for them. They in turn will nominate another 11 bloggers and pose 11 questions to them. This is a really fun way to discover and connect with new bloggers and help us all gain some new followers along the way.

Right, so to start with I have to name 11 random facts about myself. Oh dear, this is going to be difficult!

  1. In 1960 my nanna died and left me £60 with which I bought my first pony
  2. At 19 I went to work in a nightclub in an Italian ski resort (much to my parents’ consternation!)
  3. At 20 I drove Henrietta, my Triumph Herald, in December over the Alps (or was it through them?) and broke down in an Italian ski resort
  4. At 21 Henrietta  and I went down to Rome to find work
  5. I spent six months as a volunteer on a Kibbutz in Israel
  6. In 1980 I moved to East Anglia and set up my own business
  7. I think I love animals more than human beings
  8. I once went for an audition for Blind Date
  9. I hate injustice
  10. I could eat Parma ham until the cows come home
  11. I need at least 8 hours sleep every night!

Ho hum, that wasn’t too bad. Now to tackle the answers to Nic’s questions…..

Why did you start blogging?
As a diary of my coming retirement, for me, friends and family and anybody else who would like to share common interests with me.

Have you ever had a nickname?
None that I know of (goodness knows what people have called me behind my back!)

What is your failsafe dinner recipe?
Carbonnade of beef

What did you want to be when you were a kid?
A circus rider

Who do you admire?
Everybody who overcomes a physical, or mental, disability to achieve their goals

Do you read a newspaper?
I get most of my news via the BBC, and read books so I don’t have much time to read a newspaper regularly, but when I do, it’s The Guardian.

What’s your favourite memory?
The first time I went out for a drive, by myself, in my own car. Independence at last!

First crush?
At 9 a boy called David, who grew into a very dishy young man whom my best friend married!

What song is guaranteed to get you on the dancefloor?
Cocaine by Eric Clapton

How many pairs of shoes do you have?
Zillions (too many to admit to!)

If you had a pet tortoise, what would you call it?
Speedy

The 11 bloggers I would like to nominate are:

adventuresofamiddle-agedmatron.blogspot.co.uk/
http://beechesandhaws.blogspot.co.uk/
http://www.seasiderinthecity.co.uk/
http://upallhours.wordpress.com/
http://sadiehanson.wordpress.com/
http://www.prestonprecious.com/
http://www.anicerchoice.com
http://buildingourfamilynest.blogspot.co.uk
http://mumandthat.co.uk
http://www.etspeaksfromhome.blogspot.co.uk/
http://mumof4wifeof1.blogspot.co.uk/

Hopefully, none of you have more than 300 followers, it’s so difficult to work out from a blog unless they state the number of followers.

.. and here are your questions:

  1. Who, and what, makes you laugh the most?
  2. What do you consider your biggest life achievement so far?
  3. What is number one on your bucket list?
  4. Which three people would you invite to a dinner party, and why?
  5. Your most embarassing moment?
  6. What is your biggest regret?
  7. Where was your favourite holiday, and why?
  8. What makes you cringe?
  9. What advice did your parents give you that you will/or have passed on to your children?
  10. Who would you like to go out with on a blind date?
  11. What do you do to relax ?(Please, nothing smutty lol!)

There you go, hope there’s nothing there that’s too difficult. Oh dear, just read the questions that my sponsor Nic over at The Daphne Tree was given, and I see that I have asked some of the same questions. Never mind, I didn’t pinch them, honestly! Please don’t forget to link my blog into your post. Looking forward to reading your posts and thanks for getting involved.